by: Richelle Torres
by Jay Bruner, Senior Pastor
Life is about relationships.
(God) has restored our relationship with Him through Jesus Christ and has given us this ministry of restoring relationships.
2 Corinthians 5:18 (GWT)
Life is actually about learning how to love. It begins by learning to love the God that loves us and then learning to love what He loves, others. God wants us to value relationships. Yet how do we do this when there is conflict, or brokenness, in a relationship? Restoring broken relationships is the theme of the Bible. It begins with God providing a way for our broken relationship with Him to be reconciled. Then it moves into teaching us how to reconcile broken relationships with others. So what is our role in this process, and how do we go about it? Below is God's road map to reconciliation:
- Humble yourself before God and ask for His help. James 4:1-2
- Take the initiative, make a plan, and set up a time to meet. Matthew 5:23-24
Example… Call and set up a coffee or breakfast date.
- Before the meeting, bless the one you are trying to reconcile with. Genesis 32:1-21
- When meeting, begin by stating your purpose. Philippians 2:1-2
Example… "The reason I wanted to get together is that you mean so much to me, and I don't want any distance between us".
- Attack the issue, not the individual. Proverbs 16:21
Example… "You know when this happened, I felt as if…", or ask the question, "What happened, or what did I do to cause the distance between us?"
- Try to understand and empathize with their side of the issue. Philippians 2:4
Example… "I can see how that hurt you, and that pain is real."
- Apologize for your part in the conflict. Matthew 7:5
Example… "I apologize; I did not understand what this meant to you or how it impacted you. Will you forgive me?"
- Use as few words as possible; measure them well, and use intentional words that build up, not tear down. 1 John 2:17
- Agree on how to avoid an error like this in the future. Matthew 5:9
Example… "Look, if I should do something that upsets you, please tell me quickly so we can find another way around it. Again, you mean a lot to me."
- Set up a follow-up meeting to see how things are going.
It takes great courage to redeem lost relationships, but remember, this is what Christ did for us.
God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. Matthew 5:9 (NLT)