By Jeff Ware, Student Life Pastor
There is a phenomenon that causes much grief, anxiety, disbelief, and even a blissfully unaware disposition among the other members of the body of Christ. What I am speaking of is not new, nor is it hopeless, but it is something that needs desperately to be addressed. I am talking about the number of young people who seem to be leaving the Church at a rapid clip. By the definition of "young people" that I am going to use, I am no longer there. The age we are talking about here is between 15-22 years of age. Christianity Today published findings that 70% of young adults drop out of church [1]. I want to look at why and how can we fix it? So, why are they leaving? First, let's get this out of the way; I'm talking about the Church universally. Different local churches may be doing very well in some of these areas.
1. CHURCHES ARE NOT HAVING HARD CONVERSATIONS AND ARE FAILING AT DISCIPLESHIP.
Yes, we want young people to feel like it is a safe place where they can truly be themselves, but they still MUST be met with biblical truth; that's the kind of safe place we need. A safe place where a skeptic can ask hard questions without fear of anger or judgment. A safe place is where Jesus is more important for the churchgoer than their own bubble of comfort. A safe place is where a body of believers gather together to lift up the name of Jesus regardless of political leaning, race, ideologies, or baggage that is carried because there is a recognition that everyone is jacked up and everyone needs a Savior (John 8:1-11; Romans 3:23; Romans 6:23).
Young people are looking for answers as they try to figure out their place in this world. They are curious and perhaps even a bit cynical at times. They have big questions about big topics, but historically the Church would rather just gloss over these issues and questions and feed young people very safe answers to maintain a certain type of image. Issues like sexual identity, science, and even things like the reliability of Scripture, evidence for Jesus' resurrection, or basic critical thinking questions are often discarded and disregarded. This makes young people (and all people really) feel like their opinions, thoughts, and questions are not worth talking about, and as a conclusion, neither are they. So, what do they do? They leave.
2. IT STARTS AT HOME.
Yes, the Church and its ministries certainly play a vital part in the spiritual formation of both kids and teenagers alike, but it cannot be understated that Christian parents are the primary influencers in their kids' lives. If you are dropping your kids off for the Church to "fix them," you're missing it. Christian parents have an unbelievable opportunity to speak truth and life into their children every day. Yet, more often than not, they rely on others in the Church who only get around one to two hours a week with their children to be the spiritual sowers.
Another thing that gets a lot of blame for young people leaving the Church is college. College is an easy scapegoat. Perhaps young people are being exposed to new ideas and religions, or perhaps science and philosophy are to blame, but that is not what the data says. Matt Chandler, pastor at The Village Church in Dallas, affirms the data that is already being found and shared when he says in a sermon,
"Kids are not being secularized in college. They're being secularized at home before they're sent to college by well-meaning Christian parents who can't tease out the value balance between sports and activities and the gathering of the people of God...this is what's true about the data, half-hearted obedience to Jesus Christ in this generation leads to full rebellion against him in the next...I'm dedicated to helping my children as best I can understand what is of supreme value and what is a good gift." [2]
So, what does that mean? It means that as parents, the best thing that we can give to our children is our own personal holiness. We must show the supremacy of Christ in our lives and the value of Jesus above anything and everything else. Now, I don't think he nor I am saying that sports and extracurriculars are bad. I think it's all about a proper perspective and alignment of priorities. I realize that I have made many general statements that are not universally true. There are tons of Christian parents doing exactly what they're supposed to do. They are putting Jesus first and creating disciples at home. I also understand many churches are engaging culture and difficult issues/questions, so please do not hear that I am attacking anyone or any institution. Instead, I am seeking to answer the question, why are young people leaving the Church? I understand it's a broad topic, but I believe the two reasons I have highlighted here are two key components that help us answer that question.
WHAT DO WE DO?
Be real. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Speak truth with love. If you're a parent, be willing to be the primary minister to your children. It's hard. It's awkward. It's frustrating at times, but it will always be worth it in the end. Showcase Jesus in your own life and model how that looks to your kids. Your responsibility is enormous, but the reward is great.
Sources
[1]. "Dropouts and Disciples: How Many Students Are Really Leaving the Church?" The Exchange | A Blog by Ed Stetzer. Accessed April 12, 2018. http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2014/may/dropouts-and-disciples-how-many-students-are-really-leaving.html.
[2]. "Dangers of Secularizing Our Children." YouTube. December 22, 2017. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neGGIN9Y2hg.
